Bawling all over the Neighbor

Yesterday, I was pulling out of the driveway to head to a yoga class, in a pretty foul mood. It seems that from around 4-6 each day, if I am not actively involved in something, my mood takes a pretty nasty dive. I was attempting to pull myself out by going to yoga, but as I am backing the car out of the driveway, my neighbor and her two kids on their Razor scooters appear and flag me down. Oy. I'm in such a bad mood, and she seems so nice. This isn't going to end well, I'm thinking. I roll down the window, and then decide that is downright rude, so I turn off the car and hop out. She tells me she has been meaning to stop by, she's sorry she's been so remiss. I mumble something about how we've been busy setting up the place. She comes closer and tells me if there is anything I need I should definitely come by, she'd be happy to help with whatever. Oft. Here it comes. I can feel it. She's being too nice to me. You can't be this nice to me when I only have a fingernail grip on propriety. And...I'm bawling. Bawling all over the neighbor. Bawling in front of her two kids. I manage to squeak out that we just lost our twin sons at six months into the pregnancy, and that I'm sorry for being such a public mess. And G-d bless her, without missing a beat, she steps toward me, gives me a hug and starts crying too. Wow. She says I must be so strong, and she's sorry this happened, and simultaneous to the move too. She invites me to come on a walk with her and her kids in the park. I tell her that apparently I really need this yoga class, but I'd love to take a raincheck. Then she invites me to come over later that evening: she and another neighbor always drink wine and watch Dancing with the Stars on Mondays. And I hear myself saying yes.

And I do go over. I leave Bruno enjoying the house to himself. I walk out our front door clutching a Trader Joe's Really Cool Wine Find, and, one door down, I approach a new front door. I meet the other neighbor. I ask questions about the show. I drink wine. I make jokes. I tell stories, and some of them make us laugh, and some of them make us somber. I ask questions and listen to their stories. I hear neighborhood gossip. Juicy gossip. I am relaxed. I am having fun. I am invited back for next week. I am walking through a new door.

-L