With a Little Help From My Friends: Part II

As a result of reaching out to my circle, I found myself with the chance to pick the brain of the Director of New Works of a theatre I am very interested in here in the Bay Area. I was grateful for the chance, and before the day of the interview, I thought through all the questions I wanted to ask about the theatre scene here.

As the day arrived, and Bruno sailed off to work, I started imagining how the interview might go. I imagined trying to find each other in the Starbucks, some awkward laughter. I imagined buying him a coffee and settling into a table. And then I imagined him welcoming me to the Bay Area and saying, "Tell me a little bit about yourself"

And then the vision went to the static screen that comes on the TV when it runs out of programming.

Yikes. How the hell do I answer that question right now. There is only one thing flashing in my mind by way of an answer, and I'm certainly not going to lob that his way. How the hell did Bruno do his job interviews? How did he answer these kinds of questions while our grief was still throbbing just under the skin. I feel a new level of respect for my husband who did what he needed to to keep his family going when his partner was unable to shoulder her part of the load. And I feel a fresh wave of terror at the prospect of fielding this question this afternoon.

As the tears began to swell, I lunged for the phone, dialed my dear, brilliant friend Rachel, and nearly fell to the floor with relief when she answered the call.

"Who am I," I managed to croak out.

"I'm sorry?" queried Rach

"I have an interview this afternoon and the guy might ask 'Tell me about yourself', or, 'What have you been up to lately' and I can't remember who I am. Who am I?"

And then this dear, lovely friend, began to thoughtfully remind me of who I am.

"As an artist", she began, "You have always been a study in contrasts. You began your theatre work with a real interest in authentic emotional experience, Method Acting, Uta Hagen. You enjoy being a lightening rod for emotions and taking your audience on a journey that way. But as you continued pursuing theatre, you began to find real enjoyment and skill in more physical ways of expressing: clown work, choreography. And you find you are at your strongest when you can bring those two things together. You also really enjoy being part of someone else's visions, being a team player and collaborator, and yet you also find times when you are compelled to make your own work, and you seem to organically weave those two opposite pursuits together."

"As a person, " she continued, "you have always enjoyed having a wide range. You act and sing and dance, and you love math, and you love education; you are a homebody and are now discovering the joys of travel. You got married and lived in three different places all in the last four years. And you arrived in the Bay Area in the middle of a personal tragedy, did a lot of hard work to start healing, and are now ready to start rejoining the theatre world."

As I listened to her tell me who I am, I thought: Everyone should do this! Everyone should call a dear friend who knows them to their core, and ask to be told who they are. The elements she pulled together for me, leaving aside all my complaints about myself, my worries and neurosis, and distilling the best parts of me, left me feeling so confident and so proud that I couldn't wait to get to the interview.

As it turns out, the questions I feared never got asked. But I'm sure that the boost Rachel gave me by letting me see myself through her mirror was what allowed me to be so relaxed and happy throughout the interview, and for several days afterward.